march madness

I'm back in Hau'ula, working from the house and assisting mom with her daily routine.

The water level is way up from a month ago, no beach, but the weather yesterday and today...gorgeous.

Brother and I exchanged mom's bed yesterday after Sis C dropped me off. A friend of hers had an adjustable bed so we kept it in reserve until needed. Mom's weakened condition means this bed's up and down buttons are getting quite a bit of use.

Mom requires much more hands on care than she did a month ago. The liver blockage that was discovered while she was in the hospital set her back and she has to work hard if she wants to try another chemo protocol. She is simply too weak, though her labs have been good.

The main question on all our minds is how feisty she's feeling. Between her weakness and all the synthetic drugs in her system, it's been challenging for her to maintain extended periods of specific intent. I've been talking with her, laying out scenarios to try to gauge where she's at in her own mind, spirit and body.

The family will meet with the palliative care team this week to discuss mom's goals and how we can help her in achieving them. Right now it's much simpler, she has to work to nourish herself. She is struggling. We are coming to a cross road in these next few days. I will do everything in my power to help her get there. Taking stock happens in shorter intervals now. We will examine the paths together when we get there.

Interesting how, even with no map, you know when you arrive.