San Francisco Giants - 2012 World Series Champions

Dear Mom,

Can I just say that this surfeit of baseball goodness in San Francisco is not inducing indigestion.  Your favorite baseball team just won the World Series for the 2nd time in 3 years, sweeping the Detroit Tigers and  engraving several records into the sacred baseball book of statistics in the process.

And they did it playing National League small ball; solid pitching, fantastic defense, and work the count hitting.  Two years ago when they won the 2010 Championship, I said you would have loved the team of misfits that beat the Texas Rangers, San Francisco-style: Halloween colors, rally thong, mascara-ed beard, & a 2-time Cy Young winner called The Freak.

I think that this 2012 team would have won your heart, too.  So old school, playing for each other, just trying to keep their season alive for one more game, they came from behind in both division play-offs, peaking perfectly into the Championships and upsetting all ESPN's East Coast sports casters, writers, prognosticators, pundits, experts and basically everyone but the fan base in San Francisco.

There are so many highlights of Fall Ball that it's difficult to pick just a sample:

* Giants become the first team to win 3-in-a-row on the road to snatch the best of 5 NL West Division series from Van's Cincinnati Reds and Giants' former manager and all around good guy, Dusty Baker.

* Pennant Race:  Giants come back again, down 3-1 against the St. Louis Cardinals they force a 7th game, winning at home in a rout 9-0 that was finished in a rain storm

* Giants spank the Detroit Tigers and their AL MVP and Cy Young winner Justin Verlander and Triple Crown slugger Miguel Cabrera in their home game Series opener 8-3.

* The win is the first time they're ahead in the play-offs and a chubby Venezuelan nicknamed Panda etches his name in the record books next to Ruth, Reggie Jackson, and Pujols for his 3 home runs in 1 series game (actually he went 4 for 4). Pablo Sandoval hardly played in the 2010 Championship, he was so overweight and out-of-shape.

* Barry Zito, the $126 million dud the Giants brought over the Bay Bridge became the lucky starter in the late and post season, whose must-win Game 5 NL Division shut-out win sparked the Giants to take the Pennant and gave him the starter position in Game 1 of the World Series.

* Giants catcher (and future Hall of Famer) with the great baseball name of Buster Posey won NL MVP after sitting out most of 2011 with severe leg injuries from a bad collision at home plate. PS - he and Bumgarner were rookie starters in the 2010 Championship season.

* Giants 2-time Cy Young winner Tim "The Freak" Lincecum burnished a not-so-stellar season by coming out of the bull pen in the post season as a reliever, getting partial credit for the 4 shut-outs the Giants bestowed on their post season opponents with a  0.69 ERA in five postseason relief appearances, allowing one run in 13 innings with 17 strikeouts and two walks.

Okay, I have to stop now and get ready for bed. To sum up the season, the Giants got contributions from everyone whenever they needed it.  They played as a team and peaked perfectly down the stretch.

It really was a fairy tale ending to a nail-biting, head-scratching, jaw-dropping post season.

Bottom of the 10th inning, Giants leading 4-3 with 2 outs, Detroit's Triple Crown Winner Cabrera (who'd hit a go-ahead 2-run homer earlier in the game) strikes out looking.

Game over. The Giants are the 2012 Champions.  I am so proud of this team.

Love,

Gay

PS - the Giants were the first professional team to do an anti-homophobia "It Gets Better" video, encouraging Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual young people to have hope in the face of bullying and anti-gay violence.

April 1, 2011 - 2 years

I spent the 2nd anniversary of mom's passing at the WonderCon, a San Francisco comic book convention that celebrated its 25th anniversary this year.

My companion at this multi-nerdinal event was O, a few months shy of 4 years old.

O's daycare was closed Thursday and Friday so his parents asked if I would like to hang out with him. We spent most of Thursday at the Oakland Zoo, but Friday was my chance to introduce him to the cheerful, colorful and wacky spectacle that is WonderCon.

We warmed up for an hour by reading books in the children's alcove at the Mechanics Institute Library, the oldest library on the West Coast. The library is housed in a nifty 100-year old building on Post Street. From there we walked to the Moscone Center for the opening of the 3-day event.

O keeps up a constant chatter if not instructed to observe societal rules of quiet. He does not demand attention during most of his monologue, it mostly consists of whatever he's currently thinking about and has little to do with his external environment, though he's not oblivious to it.

He's a sensitive kid, but he'll try to get a rise out of you when he's in a teasing mood. His latest attempts to bait me involve beginning each conversational gambit with, "Hey, KooKoo - (fill in the blank)" said with a big grin. I can tease back, but the unstated rule is that I have to equal the *amount* of ribbing. For example, an acceptable response is "Hey, CoCo - " while an unacceptable response, i.e. one that amuses me but not him, is "Yes, PooPoo?"

He can get creative trying to assert control too, as when we were amidst herds of nerds and I wanted him to stay close to me, he loudly called out "Hey, why are you pulling on my arm?"

I do not get easily embarrassed by children, as evidenced by my lack of embarrassment at my own behavior, so I replied cheerily at an equal unnecessarily loud volume, "I need to pick some food out of my teeth and I don't have a toothpick."

The satisfying result was a double win; he was confused into silence, and a path was suddenly cleared around us.

We wandered for hours between the Exhibit Hall and the rooms housing the San Francisco International Children's Film Festival. Since he has always been slow to warm up to new faces, he was not about to have his picture taken with any of the assorted superheroes, science fiction, fantasy and manga characters milling about and posing in comic book cover stances. He also has a monk-like asceticism which seems to be immune to wanting. Not for a moment was he tempted by any of the thousands of toys, books, stuffed things, gadgets, miniatures, dragons, swords, posters, pictures, jewelry, and comic and film memorabilia displayed.

Or perhaps he's more like a tiny risk-averse bureaucrat for whom it's easier to say "No" to everything rather than be overwhelmed by the decision-making process and potentially making more work for oneself.

At any rate, it's really easy to spend time with a child who says "No" to himself before you have to. My own nieces and nephew were never greedy children, but they would certainly have taken me up on the offer to get *one* treat. The girls would have spent all day picking their one treat out.

O loved watching the films. He was entranced and more engaged than I realized. He would have stayed until his legs atrophied. I had to make him take breaks and walk around. He had no interest in going to the playground at nearby Yerba Buena Gardens or riding the Carousel. I foresee a future of art house theaters and bushels of popcorn as he watched everything but had definite favorites and those tended to be the higher quality works.

We had a blast. It was about as good a way to observe mom's death as I could conjure. Full of whimsy, fantasy, and the excited noises of happy people reveling in their passions.

Ordinarily, mom would never enter my mind during an event like this. There were few things that mom didn't understand and even fewer things that she made no attempt to understand. Science fiction was one of those rarities. The couple times I tried to explain why I loved reading sci-fi she expressed, well, something close to outrage at its existence.

The only intersection between WonderCon and mom was the anniversary of her death. I smiled several times during the day at the thought of mom as unwilling passenger in my memory banks, forced to endure a whole day's worth of speculative fiction and universes that ignored our own physics and natural laws.

Somehow, perhaps *because* she was a sci-fi refusenik, this difficult day was not so painful. Sorrow over missing mom can blindside me but it's usually rooted in happy memories of things experienced with her. Her complete lack of interest in a large chunk of my formative and adult reading life and entertainment choices, as well as my imagination has, ironically, left me with a fairly large Neutral Zone.

There were many more familiar child-centric activities I could have shared with O on a gorgeously warm Friday in the Bay Area. The WonderCon was a bit of a risk because of the location, the crowds and sensory overload, but it worked out really well as a shared experience.

I didn't consciously choose to spend the 2nd anniversary of mom's passing in a place where missing her presence would be pain-free and even tinged with humor, but she did choose to depart on April Fool's Day.

No fooling, Mom, you had a wonderful time with me and O at WonderCon.

a mom koan for her birthday on january 4

If your birthday rolls around but you're no longer on the planet, does it still make sense to celebrate?

Today would have been mom's 77th birthday.

I know there are many people still breathing who remember this fact. Excluding learning history by rote, dates stick in our memory because of associated emotions that have burned through our minds, sometimes searing our spirits in the process. Trivial as a moment of discomfort at a family gathering and moving as a loved one's grief. Do you mark every moment of joy? Calendar your happy times?

I'm hardwired to recall mostly positive emotions. Fortunately, I'm also a better learner when provided with a carrot, not a stick. So my emotional ledger is not so good on specifics, but full of hazy happy times and vivid laugh-til-you-cry scenes. Many of these episodes feature mom in the cast of characters.

You see where I'm going with this. Usually, the way it works is you have a sad experience which equals a sad memory. I have thousands of happy experiences and many of them involve mom. She hasn't been erased. Her absence has been highlighted. All the associations that used to be happy are now colored with sad, an emotion that I'm not used to feeling. Though I prefer sad to numb, which is how I spent 2009.

The timing of mom's terminal illness turned our decades of happy holiday times into a dense layer of heartache. Of course, true to our family's karma, we got an extra helping of ludicrous on the side [Not Maudlin Mom Archives - December 2008], including; flood, major power outages (2!), formerly evil grandmother with dementia, and forced home renovation that required us to be out of the house through Christmas.

Because my numb wore off in 2010, I cried pretty much throughout the holidays (see above). Very weird. I've never had a rainy season before. As soon as the formerly happy holiday events were over, my emotional storm dissipated.

Mom's January 4 birthday always signaled the end of the holidays and the start of a new year. I'm hoping 2011 will fade the sad overlay and the happy will start to shine through. I want happy and sad to be separate, but equal. I know that's as unrealistic and ridiculous as Jim Crow laws, but I have not gotten used to the taste of bittersweet.

Zen koans are about finding the true self. Mom koans always demanded a bit more.

So I'm going to celebrate her birth day today, by remembering her as she was with me which is, not coincidentally, also how she loved me; challenging, competitive, stubborn, dry, rarely motherly, insisting that I always be the "bigger person," inquisitive, goofy, adventurous, smart and loyal beyond reason.

In some mysterious way she embodied all those qualities in a package that was laugh out loud funny.

Happy Birthday, Mom. You are loved and missed.

San Francisco Giants - 2010 World Series Champions

Go Giants! Mom, you would have loved this team of goof balls.

I have to post after following the San Francisco Giants through the play off season and on to last night's Game 5 win over the Texas Rangers to win the World Series for the first time since moving the franchise to San Francisco in the late 50s.

Why? Because mom was a baseball nut of the first order and her favorite team of all time was the San Francisco Giants. The last time she visited me in the Bay Area, she insisted I buy the cheapest outfield seats because she wanted to walk around (then) Pac-Bell Park and preferred the outfield bleachers. It was a perfect baseball day. I took off work early and we walked along the Embarcadero to the ballpark and watched her beloved Barry Bonds almost hit a homer into McCovey Cove.

The pleasure I got from watching these late season games nearly off-set the pain of missing mom and her droll insights this past year in sports. She would have been so thrilled for this team that came together and peaked at the right time, and their selfless and inspired pitching, defense and hitting.

The fantastic Giants win made me remember a couple of happy times for her when she was sick at the end of 2008 and into 2009.

There weren't many highlights during that time for us, but a couple of sports-related things did energize and excite her and helped us enjoy our time together.

The 1st bit of fun was a surprise visit in December by Misty May-Treanor and her husband Matt, yes, that Matt Treanor, currently playing with the Texas Rangers. My Uncle G is a long-time friend of Misty's dad. He and my aunt went to Beijing at Misty's invitation and watched her and Kerry Walsh win Gold in Beach Volleyball.

Uncle G decided to take the Treanors on a little detour to the windward side when they visited Hawai'i in 2008. Mom and my sister got their picture taken with a 2-time Gold Medal Olympian *but* all mom talked about later was how excited she was to talk with Matt Treanor about pro baseball and what his plans were (I think he had just been released by the Florida Marlins and was uncertain about his future). According to mom and my sister, Matt Treanor was a friendly, down-to-earth accessible guy. I think Misty was more of an enigma.

Matt Treanor bounced around teams quite a bit between that sickroom visit he made to my very ill mother who was "only" a friend-of-a-friend. He was traded to the Rangers in March this year, and now he's playing for the 1st time in a World Series against my mom's favorite-of-all-time baseball team, the San Francisco Giants.

My mom, being a true fan, would be cheering on her Giants, but she would be just as happy for Matt Treanor to win a Championship after slogging it out under the radar for so many years.

It's a win-win for me as I'll always be appreciative of how much my sports nut mother enjoyed Matt and Misty's visit 2 years ago.

The 2nd bit of fun with mom is tennis-related. She and I got up at weird hours and watched the 2009 Australian Open. While she appreciated (former No. 1) Roger Federer's tennis, she *loved* watching current No. 1, Rafael Nadal. Yes, she was an unorthodox, self-taught lefty who beat a bunch of club players for a local championship that her peers still talk about decades later. We had so much fun watching him win that tournament and that time period was the best she would feel, physically, throughout her chemo treatments.

This is what I posted on the blog on Monday, February 2, 2009:

tennis, anyone?

Mom and I stayed up into the wee hours Sunday to watch the Australian Open men's final. Mom's version of watching was to sit in her fold-out sports chair, bent over with her eyes closed. I would periodically rouse her and tell her to watch a replay of an amazing exchange or ask her if she wanted to get onto the bed and she would say, "No, because then I'll really go to sleep."

By the 5th set we were both wide awake to watch Rafa Nadal win his 1st hard court major. That last set was a lesson in focus of intent to the exclusion of physical discomfort, environment, and the other guy across the net, who may just be one of the greatest tennis players of all time. My take-away was that a great competitor beat a great artist and comparisons don't apply, but sports fans reap the benefit of one of the great rivalries of the current generation. Wow.

Long-time friends and family know which player mom most closely resembles. Hint: not the artist.

Mom, your Giants finally brought home a Championship trophy to San Francisco and they did it the old school way - brilliant pitching, solid defense and no egos.

April 1, 2010 - all things mom

If you’re reading this post, you, like me have been thinking about Pee, aka Pee Wee, aka Elaine, aka Popo, aka Mom.

It’s a shame that a milestone like death is the magnet that attracts memory. While I’m at peace with the fact that we gave mom a good death, it’s really memories of her life that simultaneously make me laugh and ache. The good thing about these twin feelings is that I then recall all the times with mom that I laughed until I ached.

She was too low-key to be a comedian, but dang, the woman was funny.

I’ve many an email from her just updating me on everyday stuff, or taunting us with the results of our Pigskin Picks and exhorting us to do better so she could collect a free trip to Las Vegas and, no matter how mundane, there was always a memorable line or two that made me laugh.

Her clear-eyed and astringent observations about family members, athletes, political figures and locals-in-the-news were original and offered me insight from a mind-set that was completely alien to me. As well as I knew her, she remained a delightful and sometimes frustratingly stubborn puzzle. I have all the pieces, but the picture remains opaque.

To me, she was (sometimes) painfully direct in her communications. Yet, I know that she wasn’t so honest with others. I’ve come to realize that there was a pattern to her uncharacteristically circuitous language; she would stop short of breaking someone. She would lie by omission if she thought what she had to say about a person’s character would break their spirit.

In retrospect, this fundamental difference between us was the arena in which all of our disagreements played out. Yes, I often thought that she wasn’t direct enough in relationships that she was deeply invested in. Writing those words makes me laugh, because she did not spare me. She wielded a sharp observational and opinionated knife and I felt many a cut-to-the-bone comment. For the curious, these remarks were not coded comments about my lifestyle. Mom was not superficial and she did not believe that other peoples’ behavior was any reflection on her. She did think about old-timey things such as family obligations, but she did not bow to convention.

No, mom’s judgment was reserved for what she perceived as wrong-headed actions that might be indicative of a character flaw that should be worked on or corrected. If you have not had the privilege of being flayed open by her, you have not been forced to look deeply at your ethics and how you move and act in the world and in your close relationships. Opening yourself to her unedited opinion was not for the faint-hearted. If she offered any advice, you would be wise to give it long and serious consideration. She was often right.

Her moral compass was honesty and justice for all. And she really meant *all*. Many of our most intense discussions were about the ethical failures and criminality of elected officials and business leaders. She reserved her harshest judgment for people in power and religious hypocrites.

She did not suffer fools and she was sensitive to and very concerned by the dumbing-down of debate in American and Hawaiian society. We often discussed the implications of the rise of religious fundamentalism and what that meant and reflected about our modern American/Hawaiian culture.

Other than our mutual taste for weird food combinations, mom and I shared curiosity and a sincere interest in learning about what made people tick - the basis for some of the most interesting and thought-provoking conversations that I’ve ever shared with another human being.

I both miss and am grateful for her; courage, wryness, wisdom, clarity of perception, love of reading, competitiveness, sports fanaticism, Las Vegas adventuring, very rare occasions wearing a Mom Hat, interest in people and places, stubbornness, goofy get rich quick schemes, complete lack of sentimentality, strength, cheap stocking stuffers, critical thinking, perfect fried chicken, no-nonsense compassion and advocacy for the disenfranchised, spirituality, connection to nature, cat crazies and all the myriad of qualities, conditions, triumphs and failures that leave such a deep hole in the lives of those of us who were fortunate enough to come under the attention of her gimlet eye and generous spirit.

As a good friend of mine put it, “You’ve suffered a deep wound, but it’s a clean one. You will heal.”

3 perfect days - friday april 17, 2009

[Click on the title of this post to link to the song "Pua 'Āhihi" by the Kahauanu Lake Trio]

Friday was mom's committal service and it opened sunny and warm. Dad's brother Uncle D and his wife Auntie A stayed with us in Hau'ula and we caravanned to Hawaiian Memorial Cemetery in Kane'ohe in a peaceful mood.

A surprising number of family and friends attended the 11am service held in the committal shelter. Burial plots are assigned as needed so there are no rank hierarchies or preferential treatment and loved ones are allowed a maximum of 15 minutes for the services which are held on the hour.

The set-up was in perfect keeping with mom's wishes for graveside service only.

Dad welcomed our family and friends with these words:

Elaine wanted no funeral service or eulogies. We are here to witness the committal of her material remains to the earth, but her spirit lives on in our hearts.

We would like to honor her wishes and her spirit by a period of silent reflection and communion.

The period of silence and the service will end with the playing of one of her favorite songs, "Pua 'Āhihi."

Of course, being dad, he went off-script despite many warnings, reminders and threats. He let everyone know that 30 years ago, mom had requested Uncle S play this particular song at her funeral. And he departed even further from the script by explaining that the song is a very sensual one. [Side note: The song was written by Mary Kawena Pukui and Maddy Lam and is very Hawaiian in its sly word play. Hihi means entangled or entwined and the song title, 'āhihi, refers to a type of lehua tree that is found in Nu'uanu, which is ostensibly the song's subject]

This is why Auntie I exclaimed, "That's not for kids to play!" when dad informed her of the choice of music. We had been talking about Little E and the Nephew strumming their ukes at that point. Sadly, Uncle S is no longer with us so we used a version recorded by the Kahauanu Lake Trio. If you click on the blog post title, you will be taken to a link to listen to the song.

Dad is a Korean War-era Marine vet so mom was buried in the veterans' area: Section 157 - B4, one of the highest hills left as you face the Columbarium Memorial Plaza, near the road and facing the beautiful Ko'olau mountains.

lu'au sat. april 18 - Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden 11am-2pm

Elaine's lu'au:

Komo mai!

You can get to Luluku Rd. direct from Kamehameha Hwy. or from Anoi Rd. off Likelike Hwy.

45-680 Luluku Road
Kaneohe, HI 96744(808) 233-7323
www.honolulu.gov/parks/hbg/hmbg.htm

We're are at the Kahua Nui campground, the most southwestern end of the park. Keep heading in. When you get to a t-junction, head right. Keep heading in. You'll see the big white tent.

Call Cis' mobile if you get lost.

honolulu advertiser april 11, 2009

ELAINE CHUNG

Elaine ("Pee" for Peewee) Chung, died peacefully on April 1, 2009, in Hau'ula. As she wished, she was at home with her family, between the ocean and the Ko'olau mountains.

Elaine leaves her loved ones with the rich legacy of a life lived with grace and integrity. She put all her energy, smarts, pragmatism and crystal clear moral compass into her passion for public service and spent her career as a social worker both in Hawai'i for Big Brothers and Child Protective Services, and in Germany working for Army Community Services as a Family & Child Advocate.

Elaine was a truth teller and a compassionate but common sense advocate for the disadvantaged.

Her family and friends appreciated her wry, whimsical humor and knew her as an adventurous traveler, fierce competitor and sports aficionado, appreciator of books and Hawaiian music, woodworker, Vegas low roller, cat lover, nature enthusiast and loyal friend.

She retired twice from her career as a social worker and during her second retirement, enjoyed making found-wood walking sticks, spending time with her grand kids, and becoming active in ocean conservation.

She will be deeply missed by husband Waldron (Makao), 4 children and their spouses, 6 grand kids, sister Loraine (Richard) Pang and numerous family members, friends and colleagues in whose lives she took a genuine interest, investing her time and commitment into each relationship.

A brief committal service will be held Friday, April 17, at 11 am at the Hawaii State Veterans Cemetery located at Hawaiian Memorial Park.

A gathering for family and friends will be hosted by the family on Saturday, April 18, from 11 am - 2 pm at Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden, 45-680 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe at the Kahua Nui campground.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to: Hawaii Nature Center (2131 Makiki Heights Drive, Honolulu, HI 96822) https://www.justgive.org/basket?acton=donate&ein=99-0208246 where a program established in memory of Elaine will provide Hawaii's foster families with annual memberships. For more information, please visit our blog at: http://notmaudlinmom.blogspot.com/ or email to: notmaudlinmom@gmail.com

e lei kau, e lei ho’oilo i ke aloha

Love is worn like a wreath through the summers and the winters. Love is everlasting.

Mahalo to all for the offers of, well, pretty much anything and everything. I guess we shouldn't be surprised by the thoughtfulness of family and friends but your generosity has been overwhelming.

Many of you have found out that local florists will not deliver to Hau'ula. Really, mom is not playing tricks, but, pragmatist that she was, she would prefer to direct your generous impulses to the projects near and dear to her heart; environmental conservation and community action.

So while we welcome the outpouring of support, if you wish to do something in mom's name, we suggest you make a donation to a non-profit working on environmental and/or conservation projects.

In the next few days I will post information on mom-approved causes.

Hope to see you at Ho'omaluhia on the 18th.

party! saturday, april 18 | Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden

We had to move the date because of anticipated turnout. Details to follow.

There will be music, food and drink - all the ingredients for a mom-worthy event.

As we get closer to the date, we will need a firm count for the caterers so when you know FO' SHURE! if you will be joining us, email:

notmaudlinmom@gmail.com

please include:

1. Your full name
2. # of children and # of adults in your party
3. Names of all people in your party.

At mom's request, no open mic, however, we would like to invite former colleagues to talk about mom's commitment to and passion for public service. While she shared many wonderful experiences with her grandchildren, her one regret is that she did not have time to convey to them her deep belief in service to the community.

I will be in charge of speakers so if you are interested in sharing an anecdote, please send me your contact info and I will be in touch.

Mahalo.

elaine loo chung: january 4, 1934 - april 1, 2009

Mom died this afternoon. Her passing was peaceful.